It’s summer. I’m on
the move. Gardening. Dancing.
Cleaning stalls. Mowing the
lawn. Feeding chickens. A dozen projects always in the works.
By the end of the day, I’m exhausted … drenched in sweat and
dirt with mud crusted to my bare feet.
My greying blonde curls twist into humidity ringlets, often accessorized
with strands of hay. I smell like horses
and patchouli and fresh air and earth.
And I am unbelievably happy, because being a mess means that
I’m fully engaged in Process. I’m shifting
and making progress.
To me, a life well-lived requires that we get messy from
time to time: physically, emotionally, and
spiritually.
I’m going out on a limb here to assert that getting messy is
necessary on some level in order to grow. But I also understand that the very thought of
getting our metaphorical – if not literal – hands dirty creates huge resistance
in people. After all, we’ve been taught
to wash with antibacterial soap. We’re
taught to abhor life’s messiness just as we are the unseen germs on our skin,
despite that they are part of our natural existence. Even minor chaos is
uncomfortable in a world that craves predictability, stability, and order, all
wrapped up in tidy packages.
Being messy means that we’re forced to accept the discomfort
of change. In my own experience on
life’s spectrum of disarray, the less willing I’ve been to embrace change, the
harder it’s been to navigate its ups and downs.
The more I’ve resisted, the harsher it’s been, because along with the
loss of my illusions of control there comes an inevitable shove into a state of
surrender. I wasn’t raised to
surrender. I doubt many people are.
I think that many of us were raised with the notion that
surrender isn’t an option. If something
isn’t working, we’re conditioned to try harder to make it work – to force a
situation into reasonable parameters of winning. To surrender means to lose in the common core
understanding of things. It means…
gasp!... failure.
It’s interesting to me that some of the people we consider
brilliant and successful have spoken with such high regard of failure.
“Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve
greatly.” Robert F. Kennedy
“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead
end. Failure is something we can avoid
only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” Denis Waitley
And my favorite…
“The phoenix must burn to emerge.” Janet Fitch
Inspiring words from big thinkers.
To mere mortals, however, the cringe of failure resonates
with loss and despair. It rises from
fear … of making mistakes that can’t be undone, of making the wrong choices at
the wrong times, of experiencing judgment by our loved ones and the inevitable
shaming that comes with it.
We are shamed in our society by the threat of failure, and
messiness is a sign that we could fail because it takes shape in the unpredictability of risk-taking. Getting messy means that
we’re allowing ourselves to experience the vulnerability of not always knowing
where we’re going, but moving forward nonetheless. It’s a realization that our restlessness and
discontent are real and can no longer be confined to neat, tidy packages.
Getting messy isn’t a popular choice. It’s not the path of least resistance. Sometimes, though, the socially acceptable
confines must completely abandoned, even leveled to the ground. Our internal
landscapes must give way completely in order to achieve something greater.
It’s scary to think about, isn’t it? The process of change can
feel like dancing with a hurricane or shaking apart at the epicenter of an
earthquake. It tears us apart so that we
can reconstruct ourselves from a new foundation.
How we approach change is up to us. We can choose to accept that life is messy
with trepidation or joy. I choose
joy. I choose risk-taking; some measured
and some motivated by radical trust.
I’m going to get filthy in the process. But at the end of the day, I’ll strip naked
and shower off and curl up in bed with a good book… and I’m satisfied.
Tomorrow I’ll rise and do it all again.
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